


Some Girls Dance With Women

by surexit



Category: Some Girls
Genre: F/F, Handcuffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 05:06:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surexit/pseuds/surexit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Viva and Holli are handcuffed together. There's only one thing to do! Pretend to be lesbians, obviously.</p>
<p>Mild warning for casual derogatory language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Girls Dance With Women

“Bloody _hell_ , Holli.” Viva bangs her head against the wall behind their uncomfortable plastic chairs with the faint hope that she can knock herself unconscious and bow out of this fucking mess.

“‘S alright, I’ve totally got it covered,” Holli says. “Look, we’ll just wait for them to come interview us, and then I’ll have a panic attack, right?”

“I don’t think fake panic attacks work on the fucking _police_ , Holli.”

“Nah, bound to, innit? ‘Cos they haven’t seen me do it before.”

“Oh, right, yeah. It’s fucking foolproof.”

“You’re swearing a lot more than usual. Do you think you might have anger management issues?”

Viva bangs her head once more, harder, but comforting blackness fails to claim her. “No. I do not have anger management issues. I am handcuffed to you, in a police station, waiting for my dad to come, accused of shoplifting. That is an angry situation!”

“‘S alright, we didn’t actually nick anything. It’ll be fine.” Holli smiles reassuringly.

“There’s no we. I was not involved.”

“Yeah, but, we -”

“You.”

“- didn’t actually make it out the shop door. It’ll be fine.”

“Just shut up, Holli.”

Holli does, for a while.

“Viva?”

“What?” Viva says through clenched teeth.

“I’ve got another idea.”

“ _What_?”

“We’ll pretend to be lezzers, innit. ‘Cos, listen, the police ain’t supposed to arrest lezzers. It’s a hate crime.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Yeah, alright, I know that.” Holli pouts. After a second, she says, “But look, they’re definitely supposed to be nicer to lezzers. ‘Cos they’re a minority. That’s why I’m not supposed to hit Shanabelle.”

“You’re not supposed to hit Shanabelle ‘cos you’re not supposed to hit _anyone_.”

“Yeah, but Miss Dickinson definitely added a bit about lezzers to that last talk she gave me.”

Viva looks across at Holli, slumped in her own blue plastic chair, and tries to give her the most unimpressed look she can possibly give her. “Your plan is completely shit and I’m not doing it.”

Holli grins, and taps their handcuffed hands together affectionately. “Sure, Viva. No problem.”

Of course, two minutes later a policewoman comes into the room and Holli lunges at Viva, landing a big sloppy kiss on her before Viva, with muffled squeaks, can push her off. “ _Holli_!”

“I can’t help it, I just love you!” Holli says loudly, eyes darting sideways to the policewoman, who looks a little taken aback. “Why do you treat me so cruelly?” She slumps back in her chair, eyes wide and doelike. “I was just so upset about the way you talked to me in Asda, that’s why I just _had_ to make that run for the door with that bottle of Jack D, I wasn’t in my right mind, innit.”

“Uh,” Viva says. She looks at the policewoman quickly, and then back at Holli. “I’m sorry I’m so horrible to you. Uh, baby? I know it wasn’t your fault. You’re not a criminal, really! I’m going to fucking kill you later, obviously, for being such a fucking idiot -” She stops, coughs, and gets her voice back into its saccharine register. “But you can kiss me later. After I’ve forgiven you, and the police have forgiven you, and everyone’s happy. Right?”

She grinds to a halt, because she can’t ignore the policewoman’s stifled laughter any more. “Do you _mind_?” Holli snaps at her. “We’re _trying_ to talk about our relationship.”

“Sorry, girls, I totally understand. It’s a very touching scene. Now listen, Viva, right? Your dad’s on his way. We’ve checked the CCTV, you’re all clear. Holli, unfortunately we’re going to have to give you an official reprimand. We tried to ring your house but no one picked up.”

Holli nods. “My mum’s doped up by now, miss.”

The policewoman nods. She’s obviously heard it all before. “Right. We’ll send you home with Viva’s dad - I assume that’s okay, given that you need to talk about your relationship?” She doesn’t even sound sarcastic. They both nod. “Great. You’re going to have to come back, and you’re going to need to bring your mum or another adult, but we can talk about that when Viva’s dad gets here. And I can take the handcuffs off, sorry about that.” She moves forward with a key. “Word of advice, Holli, if a police officer asks you to come to the police station, please don’t try to hit him. It means less paperwork for us and no handcuffs for you or your friends.”

Holli nods contritely. “Sorry, miss.”

“Right. That’s everything. Do either of you want some tea? Or water?”

“Tea please,” Viva says.

After the policewoman leaves, Viva looks at Holli. “I don’t think that helped.”

Holli shrugs. “Didn’t hurt.” She sort of half-glances up at Viva through her lashes. “Wasn’t... bad. Right?”

“Um. No?”

“‘Yeah. ‘Cos we’re clearly both excellent kissers! Even under pressure! Maybe we should try again. Just to see if we’re better when we’re more relaxed.”

“Um.” Viva’s heart beats a little faster. “Maybe. Maybe later.”


End file.
